Although Albert Shanker was primarily known as the greatest union organizer of history, he was also an influential civil rights activist during this time, as can be seen in his role during the Ocean Hill- Brownsville strike of 1968.
This thesis is mostly fact. We do know the subject of this project, however the arguable point could be stronger. Research may include examples that show his influence in civil rights. There is one main idea, the fact that he was an influential civil rights activist during his time because of his role during the Ocean Hill- Brownsville strike of 1968.
It is clear what this will be about. This is somewhat arguable. It argues that he should be remembered for his civil rights efforts. Research is necessary. There is one main idea, but the argument needs to be stronger.
I think that the first part of your thesis statement is unnecessary because then it seems as if you are trying to prove two points. It does correlate with leadership and legacy and is arguable.
This thesis is mostly fact. We do know the subject of this project, however the arguable point could be stronger. Research may include examples that show his influence in civil rights. There is one main idea, the fact that he was an influential civil rights activist during his time because of his role during the Ocean Hill- Brownsville strike of 1968.
ReplyDeleteThe focus is very clear but the arguable part of the thesis is not.
ReplyDeleteIt is clear what this will be about. This is somewhat arguable. It argues that he should be remembered for his civil rights efforts. Research is necessary. There is one main idea, but the argument needs to be stronger.
ReplyDeleteI think that the first part of your thesis statement is unnecessary because then it seems as if you are trying to prove two points. It does correlate with leadership and legacy and is arguable.
ReplyDeleteThere isn't much that is arguable and by saying that he was influential undermines his leadership. -Chelsea
ReplyDeleteThe project topic is clear, but not quite debatable.
ReplyDeleteThis could be more arguable.
ReplyDeleteThere is one main idea, and it relates to leadership.